Things are changing....

        

My beautiful girls :)

I can't help but feel sad, happy and scared all at the same time.

I am (always have been) a terrible worrier, now ask my friends and they'd say i am bubbly, confident and positive. Only a few people know the 'real' me, the side thats easily hurt and upset, the part of me that constantly worries and wants everything to be perfect.

Yes i usually do and say what i like, but i do worry what people think about me, what will happen to me and where i will end up.

This pregnancy has caused a whole new MASSIVE batch of hormones, a fresh batch of bitchyness, moanyness and unhappyness. Not to mention the heartburn, back ache and stress from a very tetchy toddler.

I do love being pregnant again, its great. So different from with Lydia, this time i am worring about moving, money and how all of this will effect Lydia. She is amazing and hugs my belly saying ''Baby'' then kisses it :)

I've been upset about how she will feel, how she will adapt to moving (if we ever move!?!)

Everyone tells me to relax and take it easy.

How can i!?! I have a toddler who acts like a teenager and i'm really stressed out on top of trying to remain ''normal'' to function in everyday life and move.

I wish someone would just come along and sort it all out for me. Someone to assure me Lydia will be fine, its just a phase afterall, someone to get me a new flat and sort out all the shit that comes with moving, someone to give me a wonderfull massage and a day off from everything.

But, i don't believe in god and miracles just don't happen to me.

Rant over and otherwise i am really happy. I have a beautiful happy daughter and she has a sister on her way. I always wanted a sister so she's getting what i always wanted, which is lovely :)

And i've managed to make the baby a few things for when she arrives. A soft play cube, hand stiched with a jingle bell inside. And a sock cat! Meiow....

I have always thought that i would'nt dress my two girls exactly the same. Maybe the same outfit/top but in different colours. However i have printed a vest each for the girls to wear, matching! :)

I've also brought two t-shirts, one each, Lydia's will say 'Big sister' and baby's will say 'Little sister' :) Yey!!!