I can't help but feel sad, happy and scared all at the same time.
Yes i usually do and say what i like, but i do worry what people think about me, what will happen to me and where i will end up.
I do love being pregnant again, its great. So different from with Lydia, this time i am worring about moving, money and how all of this will effect Lydia. She is amazing and hugs my belly saying ''Baby'' then kisses it :)
I've been upset about how she will feel, how she will adapt to moving (if we ever move!?!)
Everyone tells me to relax and take it easy.
How can i!?! I have a toddler who acts like a teenager and i'm really stressed out on top of trying to remain ''normal'' to function in everyday life and move.
I wish someone would just come along and sort it all out for me. Someone to assure me Lydia will be fine, its just a phase afterall, someone to get me a new flat and sort out all the shit that comes with moving, someone to give me a wonderfull massage and a day off from everything.
But, i don't believe in god and miracles just don't happen to me.
Rant over and otherwise i am really happy. I have a beautiful happy daughter and she has a sister on her way. I always wanted a sister so she's getting what i always wanted, which is lovely :)
And i've managed to make the baby a few things for when she arrives. A soft play cube, hand stiched with a jingle bell inside. And a sock cat! Meiow....